Things that happen during perimenopause that nobody talks about

When it comes to perimenopause, we all know about the hot flushes and the middle-aged spread. But there are plenty of other symptoms that nobody talks about as much. And because perimenopausal symptoms differ from woman to woman, we might not even know about some! Or we might be feeling something and don’t even realise that it’s a perimenopausal symptom!

So we need to talk more about perimenopausal symptoms to help women (and men) realise that the symptoms we experience during perimenopause are normal. If we know this and know what to expect, then we can be more prepared, don’t you think? And our transitioning through perimenopause can then be a less anxious experience.

Furthermore, if we know that there’s a reason why we’re feeling out of sorts (fluctuating hormones) and that there will eventually be an end to it, it could make our transitioning years much more pleasant.

Okay, so what are these things that happen during perimenopause that nobody talks about?

Increased Anxiety

Hot flushes (resulting from fluctuation hormones) have a lot to answer for. They cause your body to release adrenalin which contracts your arteries making you feel anxious. Who knew? Also, during a hot flush, your heart rate increases by 8-16 beats apparently. And that also increases your feeling of anxiety. So if you’ve been feeling more anxious lately, now you know the possible reason why.

Forgetfulness

Okay, I think we’ve all probably heard about this one. But the reasons why we become more forgetful in midlife? Well, it could be because the part of our brains that retrieve memories deteriorates with age, and the hormones that protect and repair brain cells also decline with age. But it’s not all doom and gloom because brain cells do continue to be produced into old age. We just need to keep physically, socially and mentally active to combat forgetfulness. Spending time with friends, going for walks, playing games like Scrabble, learning something new and reading all go a long way to help us maintain a healthy brain, and mindset.

Weight Gain

As I discussed in my post about perimenopausal weight gain, we often find ourselves the proud new owners of a larger ‘middle’ owing to our metabolism slowing down during perimenopause and the fact that we’re probably less active than we once were. So there are valid reasons for the middle-age spread, but again, we don’t have to put up with it – there are ways to fight the flab.

Related: How to Deal with Perimenopause Weight Gain

Depression

Depression is a common problem in older adults. And again, the changes in our hormones are often why we suffer from mood swings and depression. So, now you know – fluctuating hormones are probably to blame.

You’re more susceptible to type 2 diabetes

If you’re overweight during perimenopause, you could be at a higher risk of suffering from this. So knowing this, there’s even more reason to exercise and eat well during this stage of our lives.

Your sex life could dry up

Literally and figuratively! Lower oestrogen levels cause thinner, drier and less elastic vaginal tissue and a decreased blood flow to the area, so vaginal dryness is a thing, sadly. And low libido can make an appearance too. Yes, we’ve probably heard the whisperings of these symptoms and maybe even laughed about them, but forewarned is forearmed so look into hormone therapy or buy those lubricants, ladies! It doesn’t have to be all bad.

Fatigue

Going through perimenopause can leave you frequently feeling bone-tired. There, I said it. I often feel guilty about feeling exhausted when I haven’t done nearly enough during the day to warrant it. But knowing that this is a symptom makes me feel understood and I have to keep telling myself that there is a reason for it and to simply embrace it.

Your allergies could get worse

It’s worth knowing that some women experience this. If you never had allergies before, you could experience them during perimenopause. And if you have experienced them before, they could get worse during this time of your life.

IBS / Flatulence

Some studies have shown that perimenopause can trigger IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) and also increase IBS symptoms. And other studies show the opposite. But whether or not you’ve been diagnosed with IBS, you may find that you have more frequent bowel symptoms during midlife. There hasn’t been enough research done about why perimenopause affects how our stomachs work during this time of our lives. But it is acknowledged that we tend to experience changes in the frequency of our bowel movements, increased abdominal pain and discomfort, and increased bloating.

And bloating is often caused by gas retention owing to gastrointestinal changes during perimenopause and a slowing down of digestion. It can also be a result of changing our diets to include more fruit and vegetables. And where there is bloating and gas retention, there is flatulence, my friends. It’s a thing, so we’d better own it. Hah.

Irregular Periods

Heavier, lighter, longer, shorter, sporadic. Are crazy things happening with your period? Maybe you’re having similar experiences to when you went through puberty – accidents owing to a heavy period, for example. Well, that’s what can happen during perimenopause. (It almost makes the time we hit menopause (no period for a year) something to look forward to!)

Aching joints and muscle tension

Feeling old and achy? Yes, aching joints and muscle tension is a thing during midlife too. Or you might have pulled something while exercising… stranger things have happened.

Migraines

Oh yes, hormone fluctuations are guilty here too. Go easy on yourselves, migraines are intense and can knock you out for a day or two.

Bleeding Gums

Scary stuff, but just so you know, bleeding gums can be a result of decreased oestrogen levels too.

Hair loss / Thinning hair

Don’t worry, what you lose on your head, you make up for on your chin and cheeks. Hah. But seriously, it’s the hormone imbalance that causes hair to grow more slowly and become thinner.

Increased facial hair / Chin hair

And just when we thought that at least we didn’t have to shave our faces like men, surprise! You’re now the proud owner of a little moustache! I mean, did you ever think you’d have to shave your face in your lifetime? Well, hormone changes cause this phenomenon and you’re not alone in your plucking and shaving.

Foul body odour

Who knew about this one? It is not something people tend to talk about, right? But apparently, it can become quite a problem for some women and it’s not a pleasant symptom. And the reason for this: a decrease in oestrogen levels fools your hypothalamus gland into thinking you’re overheated and signals your body to sweat more.

Breast pain and/or itchiness

Hormonal changes cause tenderness and itching in the breasts.

Thinning of skin

If you’re getting more bruises, it’s because of those fluctuating hormones again.

Dry eyes and possible change in vision

Do your eyes often water a lot? Apparently, it’s because your body is trying to lubricate your dry eyes. Oh boy.

Dry mouth (Xerostomia)

And speaking of dry – lower oestrogen levels may also decrease salivary production which can result in oral dryness or dry mouth. When our salivary glands don’t produce enough saliva to rinse cavity-causing bacteria off our teeth, germs can build up increasing our risk of gingivitis and tooth decay. A dry mouth can also make it difficult to eat or swallow.

Heart Palpitations

Epinephrine and norepinephrine neurotransmitters that regulate your heart rate and blood pressure tend to fluctuate during perimenopause. So there’s that too.

Urinary urgency and leakage

When you have to go, you have to go right now! Am I right? And your new thinking is that you might as well have a loo break when you see a bathroom because you could need one when there isn’t one available. Is this you? Or maybe you’ve given up running and jumping on trampolines because you’d wet your pants if you did. Is this you? These symptoms aren’t only for those who had natural births, by the way. A weakened pelvic floor is to blame, but lower oestrogen levels also cause the lining of the urethra to thin which doesn’t help matters.

Incontinence

See above. Ugh.

Dry Skin

There seems to be a lot of drying out that goes on during our perimenopausal years, apparently!

Possible solution: Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate!

Related: What you need to know about skincare for maturing skin and Why Vitamin C is so important to us in Midlife

Bone Loss

It doesn’t seem fair that your bones start thinning when you’d prefer the thinning to be happening around your middle! Agreed?

Brittle Nails

And your nails get dry and brittle too! I mean, when will the drying end already?

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So, yes, there’s a lot of thinning (in the wrong areas) and drying (everywhere) that can happen during perimenopause. Not the best situation, to be sure. But what’s a girl to do? Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize? Or lubricate? Or opt for hormone replacement therapy? Whatever solution helps to keep you sane and feeling good, I reckon, is the best one.

But seriously, the obvious answer to remaining healthy and well lies in helping your body through these fluctuating hormone years. And we have to do this however we can because there’s no getting around it. We might as well get on with it and try to have a laugh along the way.

And basically, as soon as we all accept these symptoms as the norm and make relevant adjustments (speak to your doctor about HRT), the sooner we’ll cruise more easily through this phase.

In conclusion

It’s not all bad, though, so don’t despair. Despite the fact that women’s health research doesn’t receive enough financial support and even gynaecologists don’t know as much as they perhaps should when it comes to dealing with symptoms (and women’s health in general) – we’ve got this!

We all need to learn as much as we can about what can happen during perimenopause because knowledge is power. Inform yourself. Read, read, read. Educate yourself about topics you don’t know enough about. And then spread the word.

Also, do research, talk to your gynaecologist, ask questions about your body’s changes so that you can find solutions. Speak to your friends about your symptoms – chances are they’re experiencing something similar and you won’t feel so alone.

And manage your stress and anxiety with lots of self-care.

How are you dealing with your symptoms? Are there any symptoms that you’re experiencing that I haven’t included in this post? If so and if you’d like to let us know, please reply in the comments below so that we can keep this conversation going and help each other. We are at a wonderful, powerful stage of life and this community has so much potential – let’s connect.

You might also want to read: How to tell if you’re perimenopausal

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