Being “sober curious” is very “on-trend” right now. But there are some very good arguments as to why it especially benefits women in midlife.
Alcohol has long played a significant role in life – when celebrating a milestone or achievement, commiserating a sad event, needing help managing stress, or simply as a “given” when socialising.
In fact, it’s so much a part of our culture that it’s unusual not to drink.
To drink or not to drink
As we hit perimenopause and experience any number of symptoms, it would seem that a glass of wine is an easy solution to whatever ails us. Feeling stressed? A glass of wine will relax you. Can’t sleep? A glass of wine is the answer. Perimenopause during a pandemic lockdown? Long live “wine o’clock”!
But often the opposite is true. Many middle-aged women find that drinking tends to make their stress, anxiety and insomnia worse.
And many agree that their tolerance for alcohol has decreased in midlife.
But why?
Well, we already know that women are less tolerant of alcohol than men because our bodies are generally smaller. However, women also have less alcohol dehydrogenase, an enzyme that metabolizes alcohol in the stomach. We, therefore, tend to absorb far more alcohol into our bloodstream than men.
But in addition to that, our bodies lose water volume as we age. This means we’re less able to dilute any alcohol in our system, making us more susceptible to the effects of alcohol.
As we age, our bodies also take longer to break down alcohol so it stays in our systems for longer.
So if you’ve been feeling like you “can’t drink like you used to”, these are the reasons why.
So what is “sober curious”?
Being “sober curious” means you’re re-evaluating your relationship with alcohol and the role that it plays in your life (why do you drink?). And you’re thinking about cutting down or cutting out alcohol for personal and wellness reasons.
Becoming sober curious allows you to see how sobriety or moderation may work in your life.
Ruby Warrington, author of “Sober Curious: The Blissful Sleep, Greater Focus, Limitless Presence, and Deep Connection Awaiting Us All on the Other Side of Alcohol” coined the term.
Being “sober curious” in midlife
Whatever your reason for becoming sober curious (you may simply be feeling, like me, that you can’t tolerate alcohol as you used to), midlife seems to be a good time to do it. Our bodies are often already telling us that they’re not coping as they did before, so it may be worth listening to them.
What is heavy drinking?
Heavy drinking is defined as drinking more than 7 drinks a week.
What are the negatives of heavy drinking for women in midlife?
Heavy drinking is associated with the following:
- Cancer
- Heart disease
- Decreased effectiveness of medications
- Worsening diabetes, high blood pressure and osteoporosis
- Bone mass loss
- Problems with balance, increasing the chances of falls
- Organ damage
- Sleep disruptions
- Increasing the odds of dementia, depression, suicide
- Impaired sexual function
What are the benefits of moderate drinking?
Moderate alcohol consumption is defined as up to one drink per day.
Although more studies are needed, it has been found that moderate drinking has been associated with a lower risk of obesity, dementia and type 2 diabetes. It may also reduce the risk of heart disease and increase bone density.
Does alcohol cause hot flushes?
Studies have not shown conclusively that drinking alcohol causes hot flushes. When asking women about their experiences, it tends to vary by individual. You will, no doubt, have worked out for yourself whether alcohol (or maybe a particular drink) brings on a hot flush.
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In conclusion
Midlife is a time when we tend to become more aware of changes in our bodies, and we may be searching for ways to feel better. Cutting back on alcohol is one solution that may offer tangible relief to various symptoms we may be experiencing during perimenopause. It may also improve our overall health right now and as we age.
I became sober curious a few months ago when I realised that my body wasn’t tolerating alcohol as well as it used to in the past. And by cutting down on drinking I have found that my anxiety and energy levels have noticeably improved.
It’s been an easy life change for me because my perimenopause symptoms and my new intolerance to alcohol pushed me to become curious about cutting back and eventually doing it. I wanted to feel better, and I do.
I haven’t cut alcohol out completely, though. Because sometimes it’s nice to have that glass of wine (or whisky). But it’s a one-off every now and then, not something that I do regularly.
How about you? Have you also joined the “sober curious movement”? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
PS It bears noting here that we’re talking about people who do not have an alcohol use disorder.
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