So, it’s official. I’m a middle-aged woman. And even though I know that I’ve been ageing with each passing year, I feel as if it’s happened overnight. While I wasn’t paying attention! Does that make any sense? It’s almost as if I was young one day – going to university, getting married, having babies and working. And the next day those babies are driving, my chin is covered in hairs and I’m experiencing middle-age spread firsthand.
So what is midlife and why doesn’t it have to be a crisis?
It’s probably safe to say that you’ve hit middle-age when your body starts changing and your hormones begin doing crazy things. Your skin becomes saggy and wrinkly, your hair starts thinning and/or turning grey and you notice that your eyesight is fading. Doom and gloom. And all of this coincides with your children becoming more independent, the possible demise of your marriage or partner, and the prospect of looking after your ageing parents. There’s no doubt that middle-age is a time of huge change. And all that change can be difficult to navigate – possibly so difficult that it could be deemed a crisis.
Also, midlife tends to make some women feel invisible, sad, lonely and misunderstood. Our sense of usefulness dissipates, we find ourselves mourning lost opportunities and often feel as if it’s too late to achieve anything more in our lives. Added to that we feel as if we have to compete with younger women because sadly, society places a higher value on younger women and celebrates youth. And to add insult to injury, we put pressure on ourselves to continue to look youthful and hang onto a time that has passed.
Crisis, much?
I say no! What we should, in fact, be doing is celebrating midlife because this time of our lives has so much to offer! We should be seeing this as a new beginning not a time of crisis. I feel we need to embrace this phase, love our awesome bodies and exercise to look after them. We should use our increased free time to do the things we want to do, explore and discover, not merely do what society dictates.
We should love our hair colour (or dye it), adore our newfound freedom, travel (or not), continue learning, and realise that our life experience means a lot in the workplace. And we should allow ourselves to dress in whatever makes us feel comfortable and beautiful.
While we may be experiencing hot flushes, and feelings of ageing, we must remember that we’re not old. We are, in fact, too young to give up or opt-out of contributing to society. We’re living much longer nowadays compared to previous generations which means that we could possibly live for 30+ more years, after turning the ‘dreaded’ 50! That’s a long time – too long to simply exist, we need to live! This is not a crisis, it’s a beautiful opportunity!
And that gets me to why I started this blog
I want to contribute to this midlife conversation. So I’ve created this blog as a place to celebrate midlife and showcase life enjoyment. I hope to boost our self-esteem by pointing out our value and awesomeness. I also hope to show that our vulnerability is not a weakness.
We can age however we feel most comfortable – rocking long, grey hair and showing off a facelift. And we should support our community and collectively continue to show society that our demographic is amazing. Age is merely a number, and that a good attitude is imperative.
Yes, midlife might unsettle us, but we’re more informed than ever before. And open-minded, non-judgmental middle-aged women supporting other middle-aged women and endorsing self-love is powerful stuff!
Let’s own our midlife! And celebrate this life of ours in style. – Me
Middle-age is a wonderful opportunity to transform into the best version of ourselves, in every aspect of our lives. We’ve got our life experience and we still look good! So instead of striving to look young, let’s aim to be the best version of ourselves at our own age!
Who’s with me?
Check out my midlife interview answers in this post.
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