I guess it’s only fair that I complete one of my Weird and Wonderful Midlife Interview too, don’t you think? It’ll be a good way for you to get to know me a little better and see where I’m at on this midlife journey too. So here goes!
How old are you, Bianca?
I’m 49 years old. And a crazy part of me is looking forward to turning 50 because it might make it easier for me to remember my age then! Hahaha. For the last few years, I’ve had to think hard when people ask me my age. Um, am I 48 or 49? Is this a memory thing, do you think?
When did you start feeling ‘middle-aged’? Was it sudden or gradual? Or don’t you feel the part yet?
It’s obviously been happening gradually (wrinkles, growing dislike of repetitive house music etc.), but when my eldest daughter turned 20 I suddenly felt ‘older’ and ‘more mature’ overnight.
Are you single/married/separated/divorced/widowed? (You can elaborate if you want to, eg. Married for 20 years/recently divorced or widowed etc.)
Married for 22 years.
Do you have children? Do they still live at home? Have they moved out already?
I have three children (20, 17 & 14) and they all still live at home. Our oldest daughter spent a semester at University residence but has now moved back home.
How do you feel about empty nesting? (Present or future. Is it something you’re dreading or welcoming?)
I can’t really imagine it fully yet as I’m still in the thick of having busy teenagers at home and all the fun that brings with it. I think I will feel pretty sad when all of our kids do eventually move out, though. But who knows, perhaps by then, I’ll be ready for the next phase of our lives – couple travelling and a quieter life.
Do you work? Full-time/Part-time? Are you a SAHM? Retired?
Until recently I worked four mornings a week at a local advertising agency doing social media advertising, but I have cut this down to one morning a week now. And I’m so enjoying being at home again, getting to launch this new blog and learn more about all things midlife.
Do you exercise regularly?
No.
If so, what do you do and how regularly do you exercise? If not, do you want to?
I’m embarrassed to say that I don’t exercise regularly at the moment. I do, however, belong to a gym and threaten to go back most days. It hasn’t happened yet. But I know that I should and that my body needs some toning before it’s too late to save myself from too much (unnecessary) sagging.
Do you have any menopause symptoms?
No big physical menopause symptoms yet. But about two years ago I started feeling as if I hadn’t achieved everything I wanted to achieve in my life and I went back to work. I hadn’t ‘worked’ for 18 years so it was quite a change, but a very welcome one. And I enjoyed working in an office environment again after all those years. Other than that restless feeling, I also went through a patch of insomnia which has now passed, thank goodness.
Do you have any midlife ailments? eg. Failing eyesight, memory loss, hair loss/growth etc.
I have failing eyesight, chin hairs and the odd blank moment when trying to remember words.
What is your top health tip? eg. Magnesium, aromatherapy oils, exercising, mindfulness, diet etc.
I take magnesium every night before bed and feel that it makes a difference. I recognise that regular exercise is important and I vow to get back to regular exercising soon! Gratitude journals are also a positive practice. And writing and researching for my blogs allows me an outlet for some creativity which I really enjoy.
What’s the best aspect of being middle-aged (in your opinion)? eg. Feeling more self-assured.
I definitely feel more comfortable in my skin and less affected by what others might think of me. I also feel more confident in myself now, compared to when I was younger. I strive to be non-judgmental and have realised that judgmental people irk me. I also feel I can see the bigger picture more clearly now.
What’s the worst aspect of being middle-aged (in your opinion)? eg. Loneliness and a loss of purpose. And what do you do to combat those aspects?
I sometimes have feelings of sadness at my loss of youth. And I often wish that I’d had the emotional and mental experience that I have now, back when I was young. There are certain things that I wish I could tell my 20-year-old self.
Is travelling an important option in your midlife? Or are you more of a homebody?
I’m looking forward to travelling more when we hit retirement age. Travelling as a couple is something I’m so looking forward to.
Where is the best place/destination that you’ve visited?
We recently visited Japan and that was such an amazing and different country to visit. But Italy remains high on my list of great destinations.
What is your most treasured leisure activity?
Travelling. But reading and going to movies also rate up there.
What is your best style/fashion tip for middle-agers?
Dress to boost your confidence and make you feel beautiful – whatever style that may be for you.
What is your best skin care product?
Babor HSR cream – a rich moisturizing cream.
What is your best make-up product?
Stila liquid eyeliner.
What is your daily makeup routine?
Josie Maran Vibrancy liquid foundation, Hourglass translucent powder, Anastasia brow definer, Benefit mascara, Mac/Nars lipstick.
Surgical age-defying techniques or grow old naturally?
I’ve learnt to say “never say never” – and while I probably wouldn’t have a facelift, I have been thinking about getting permanent brows tattooed, at some stage. I know two people who’ve had it done and they’re very pleased with the result. Ageing can often lead to thinning eyebrows so this would be a big help in that department. However, I’m sticking with my brow definer at the moment. Ultimately though, I think I would far more readily try non-surgical procedures before going under the knife.
Go grey or dye your hair?
I highlight my hair so I haven’t had to deal with noticeable greying yet. But I reckon I’ll stick to highlighting/dye-ing until I’m much older.
Do you have any book/movie/podcast recommendations about midlife?
Book: Lots of candles, plenty of cake by Anna Quindlen. Movies: Thelma and Louise, Something’s Gotta Give and The Bridges of Madison County. Podcasts: See my blog post about my midlife podcast recommendations over here.
Do you have any regrets in life?
I don’t like to think that I have any regrets because I think one has to go through the learning to get to a place of experience and enlightenment. I believe that all my learning moments have made me who I am today and I (mostly) like myself at this stage of my life. I have pretty much followed the traditional life plan so I don’t feel as if I’ve missed out in any way, except perhaps doing more ‘out of the ordinary’ things. And if I had to mention one regret it is perhaps not doing more adventurous travelling when I was younger – in places off the beaten track. I’m now at an age where I’ll choose comfort over roughing it which eliminates certain adventures now.
What advice would you give to other middle-aged women?
Acknowledge the valuable life experience that you can contribute to society. Be confident and enjoy the gifts of this stage of our lives. Oh, and moisturise and drink lots of water.
What is your main goal at the moment?
To work on my blog and make it better, helpful and fun. And to have a good time doing it.
Do you feel happy on your midlife journey so far? Or do you feel as if you’re going through a crisis?
I feel very happy and mentally strong at the moment. I know that I am fortunate and for that, I am grateful.
What do you still want to achieve in life?
I would like to continue blogging and become more successful at it. I would also like to travel more and carry on learning in this wonderful life. And I want to concentrate on pushing boundaries so that I don’t become fearful as I grow older. I don’t want to become old before my time.
Any other comments you’d like to add?
I have loved my life journey for the most part and I am grateful to have had the experiences that I have had. I love being married and I have been pleasantly surprised by how much I have grown up during my child-rearing years. My children have taught me so much as they have gone through their many phases. I am so lucky to have this family of mine in my life. I acknowledge the circle of life and now that I’m more aware and have this life experience, I feel I can enjoy the moment I’m in so much more.
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Hi Bianca many years have passed since we used to walk home together from the bus stop! My daughter has just had her last day at Rhenish past Friday… Love your blog! Michelle Schonken (Paterson)
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Almost a lifetime ago now! Wow! How can we have kids that old now?! Unbelievable. And thanks for your kind comment. 😘